From The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo
"The great and fierce mystic William Blake said, There is no greater act than putting another before you. This speaks to a selfless giving that seems to be at the base of meaningful love. Yet having struggled for a lifetime with letting the needs of others define me, I've come to understand that without the healthiest form of self-love - without honoring the essence of life that this thing called "self" carries, the way a pod carries a seed - putting another before you can result in damaging self-sacrifice and endless codependence.
I have in many ways over many years suppressed my own needs and insights in an effort not to disappoint others, even when no one else asked me to. This is not unique to me. Somehow, in the course of learning to be good, we all have been asked to wrestle with a false dilemma: being kind to ourselves or being kind to others. In truth, though, being kind to ourselves is a prerequisite to being kind to others. Honoring ourselves is, in fact, the only lasting way to release a truly selfless kindness to others."
So now the second part of my question is:
Why didn't anyone chose themselves as the person they love most in the world?
Why do we not treat ourselves as we do our best friend?
I used to choose myself and I used to know how to treat myself better but somewhere along the way I lost my way again. During my first round of counseling these two questions were the focus of my sessions and by the end I understood. So what has happened that allowed me to slip back to my old ways? First, I can assume I did not truly understand my answers and second that I did not fully incorporate them into my life. I need to change this. Any suggestions?
