Day of delirium #9 - What me, worry?

The next article in my Going Bonkers magazine is titled "Stop the Insanity: How to Stop Excessive Worry" by Tina B, Tessina, Ph.D.

I know I can be a worry wart. I always have to worry about things I know I have no control over but therein lies my problem. I hate to not be in control. So obviously if something appears to be out of my control I am going to worry about it. Well this article is here to help me conquer this worry.

The article cover 4 types of worry and how to cope with each one:

1) "What If" Worry - we all know this one. Fretting about what MIGHT happen. The easiest way to deal with this is to actually answer the what if question. Being prepared for your what if might ease your mind.

2) Late Night Worry - a favorite of mine. This worry consists of using your brain as a memo pad to remember things or to plan the next day. The suggestion is to have a pad of paper and a pencil next to your bed to make notes before going to sleep. If you think you will forget something, write it down, don't try to remember it until the morning because you know you will stay up all night trying to remember it. If you need to plan something for the next day, write out a checklist so that you won't run the list in your head while you try to go to sleep. If your worry wakes you up, write it down and go back to sleep. I will get a pad of paper and pen tonight to combat this type of worry.

3) Endless Replay Worry - This is thinking and rethinking about something that you said or something that happened. The best solution is knowing that you can't fix what already was said or has already happened but you can practice to make sure it won't happen again in the future. I have actually employed this solution and it is a great help in my life. It is basically learning from your mistakes. If I find that I do something wrong,  instead of worrying about it since I can't fix it, I choose to think about how to prevent it from happening again in the future.

4) Obsessive Worry - We have all fallen into this boat in our lives at some point. The article points out, and I wholeheartedly agree, that if your obsessive worry impacts your life such as you not leaving the house, you sleeping too much or too little or you disrupting your relationships because of your worry, then you should seek out a trained therapist. I said this last week too, we are not here to suffer. Therapists can do wonders for you. I have been to one and it was the best thing I ever did for myself. The article offers five ideas for dealing with obsessive worry:

a. Get to know your worry: Learn to recognize the signs of your own worry. Again a pad and pencil will help with this one. Keep a record of your worries and what situations seems to cause them. You most likely will find a trend and once you can understand this trend, then you can gain power over it and fix it.

b. Befriend yourself: Use self talk to think positive thoughts instead of negative. This is the hardest to do because for some reason a negative voice is much louder than a positive one (at least in my head it is). But perhaps you could pretend that the worry is a friend's worry and discuss with yourself how would help that friend deal with it. Removing yourself from the situation and acting as a friend (in essence to yourself) maybe you can gain the perspective needed to get past the worry. I like this one and will try it soon.

c. Check the facts: Is the worry really valid? Is it realistic? Make a list of all outcomes and think of resolutions for each. This may seem like a lot of work but if you have an obsessive worry, lots of work is what it will take to get past it... and believe me it is worth it.

d. Think positively: Simply sell yourself on the positive outcome(s) and only the positive.

e. Gain perspective: The old standby, will this be important a month from now, one week from now, an hour from now, 15 minutes from now. Most likely no. So let it go and free yourself from the worry.

I actually am imagining some of you worrying about how you will handle your worry and worrying about which technique to try to solve your worry. It truly isn't hard, it is just trying to choose from the options for dealing with our worry. Everyone is different and deep down I think we all know what works best for each of us and what won't. I think, simply put, make sure you have paper and pencil to write down the things that bother you and then figure out how to let them go.

Hmmm I really didn't want this to be so long but I do have one more technique for letting go of things that I worry about that I was taught and has worked well in the past for me. I figure there is a reason it is tapping on my brain right now, so here it is. It is called the red ribbon technique:

Make sure you can sit quietly, preferably where you won't be disturbed, and close your eyes. Imagine you are walking down a path to an open area with a stream. It is lush, green and comfortable. You see a red ribbon floating in the air around you (like the ribbon on the Eclipse cover above). Grab hold of it. Use your mind and see yourself writing onto the red ribbon one thing, many things, all of the things you want to let go of at the time. The amount is up to you but you can do this technique as many times as you want so it might be better to do one or a just few at a time. I might write "anger at my husband for not sweeping the house" and/or "fear of not finding a new job if I lose mine". Concentrate on what you have written. Take notice of the small fire that is burning near you. Take your ribbon and place it in the fire. Watch it burn. Feel the release of the words and feelings you put on the ribbon. Stay until the ribbon is burned away and the fire is out. Take the ashes cupped in both of your hands and blow them into the stream. Feel the release of your breath freeing the ashes into the water. As the ashes land in the water, watch them wash away from you down the stream. Now turn away from the stream and head back to where you started. The first time I did this, I actually felt myself lift off the ground and fly as I headed away from the stream in my mind as the ashes of my worries and issues were washing away. It was so freeing and so empowering. I can't believe I had forgotten it until now. I will employ this technique tonight that is for certain.

Please let me know if this or any of the techniques work for you, if you try them. Good luck and don't worry, no really don't worry ;) if none of this works the first time. Practice makes for less worry. Good luck!