Day of Delirium #360 - Into the Wild movie

This post is also over on Bookended by Cats as a movie review

But really I think it is therapy for me...

Dangrdafne review

So I finally watched Into the Wild. Yes, it has been out there a loooong time. I for some reason never watched it, although I had wanted to since it came out. Perhaps I wasn’t meant to watch it when it came out, perhaps it was meant to be watched the day I saw it. One can never be too sure but I can tell you this, I am broken from this movie. Absolutely broken. I can not get the last moments of the movie out of my head. I can’t stop seeing two moments and I find myself crying still over it.

SPOILERS

Perhaps one of the reasons for my devastation is that I forgot it was a true story. That what happens actually happened to someone. Knowing that someone went through all that happened just breaks my heart. Also I had forgotten (or if I ever knew) how it would end.

He dies. And he dies from something really stupid. And only really stupid because he worked so hard to learn everything and do everything right that it just sucks that it was a mistake that makes him leave this world. And to make matters worse, people finally do come along.... just 20 days too late. I am not even sure I will be able to type up this post. My heart hurts just typing this paragraph.

Perhaps I am too emotional or sentimental. I just HATE that his whole life ended in abject loneliness and his realization that “Happiness is only real when shared.” Oh goodness gracious. A great learning point but with no way to then live that out... ouch.

He was a true philosopher and maybe if I researched philosophers I would find out that they all die alone and sad. I don’t know but actually there is no way I want to research that. My brain and heart hurt from this and while I learned a lot about myself while watching this movie, all that can not come to the front because I can’t get the end out of my mind. Sorry that this is more like a therapy session than a movie review but I think I need it. And maybe someone reading does too and that is why I am typing this.

Be sure to live your lives fully, engage with others no matter you introversion or extroversion, just find your people. Find your solace. Reach out when you need anything, there is always someone there. Basically don’t run off into the wild to live. I am not sure you can live there. And the evidence from Alex Supertramp supports my theory.

I am not sure I can recommend the movie but I still give it 4 paws because it made me pause. The soundtrack is incredible and the acting is impeccable. Hal Holbrook was a joy and Kristen Stewart was perfect. The whole cast brought their A games and I am glad because if they did not it would have made the movie even harder to process. I am sure most of you are not as emotional as I am, so if you have not seen it or if you have not seen in it awhile, check it out. Maybe it is a movie needed for these times.

If you find that you need to chat after watching, come find me in the comments.

Day of Delirium #359 - Incredible story

This is the MOST incredible story. What started out one way is no where near how it ends up. Perfect statement on Because Nice Matters. I beg you to watch and imagine how this can change the world. 

https://www.cbsnews.com/video/a-facebook-message-that-sparked-hope/

Day of Delirium #358 - Personal Day Follow Up

So all went as well as it could have for my sinus surgery. I had my follow up splint removal today and the doctor was pleased with how everything went and looks. Except for trouble coming out of the general anesthesia and being in the hospital from 9am until after 5pm, I was pleased with how things went too.

I look like I am Rorschach or something.

The only other issue I would state was that it was waaaay messier than I expected. I envisioned that they would just vacuum out the gunk and off I would go. And while part of that is true, they also redid my septum a little bit and found polyps hiding in all the gunk and inflammation. Sooo there was  lots of ick to move along after the procedure.

So as I said today was the removal of the splints and when I asked if they were big or small the doctor said they were big. Well, for some reason I thought maybe he was fibbing.... he was not!

Oh my goodness, I can not believe those were in my nose. No wonder I couldn’t breathe!!

All is better now though. Still some pain and ick but overall I can breathe and it feels so good without the splints. The doctor says now we wait and see how my body and time heals everything. There is no guarantee this will all work or that it will fix the issue and we may have to wait 3 months to find out but it’s the start.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, emails, texts and calls. It meant so much to me to have support and friends hanging in there with me.

Day of Delirium #357 - Personal Day

So I am choosing to get a little personal today. This Wednesday 4-11, I will be having "surgery" for my sinusitis that I have been dealing with since at least May 2017. I am writing about it because I am a little nervous about it and I hope by sharing this with all of you I will defuse some of the nerves.

In May, after returning from a trip, I couldn't decide if I had a cold or allergies. During the trip there was someone who was ill on the last day and then when I got in my car to drive home from the airport, a huge amount of pollen blew in my face when I started up my car after a week of the car sitting outside. I felt stuffy but it never really did expand into a cold, so I thought maybe it was allergies.

It eventually seemed to dissipate but every so often I would feel like me ears were blocked or I would get a headache right above my eyes. Then in August, the headaches were much worse and I felt very muffled in my head. I went to the doctor and they wanted me to take an antibiotic. I am pretty adverse to antibiotics as they have messed up my insides MANY times. And not only did I not want any antibiotic, I definitely did not want the one they were offering. So they sent me to an ENT.

He looked in my nose and said that I was definitely stuffed up and that it was most likely an infection and would need an antibiotic. I asked if that was the only option and he stated that since it had been since May, he couldn't see it going away on its own. So I filled the Rx and tried it. It didn't work and I was to return. I ended up at my regular doctor and she sent me for allergy testing.

I was hopeful that it would be allergies as I felt they would be easier to tackle than an infection so ingrained at this point. Alas, I have no allergies to anything at all. So while that is good news, it was not good news for my sinuses. The allergist stated for sure I would need to continue with an antibiotic. So off I went to fill the Rx.

It didn't work. I called the ENT and the next step was a CT scan to check what might be happening. I went to the hospital and after the test the woman running the scanner asked "Can you breathe through your nose?" to which I worriedly stated "Yes, why?" and she said "You have a lot of stuff in there!"

I saw my regular doctor by chance before seeing the ENT again and my regular doctor was shocked by the scan results. She thought it would either be more antibiotics or surgery. I was very sad.

Off to the ENT to see the scans. If any of you know, your sinuses on a scan should be black, as that is all air. If they are grey, then they are filled and not working properly. Welllll, I have two small circles of black in two sinuses and that is it. So not only was is it crazy weird to see my skull on a screen it was not cool to see that my sinuses were sooo blocked. I asked "can't you just vacuum it all out?" And he answered "That is what surgery would do."

So we discussed surgery and I determined that I would rather try the surgery and do the antibiotics for that than do another round of antibiotics to only probably end up at surgery and a fourth round of antibiotics. So much for not taking a lot of antibiotics any more. Sigh.

There will be no cutting, no blood, no black eyes, no changes to my face and all should go well. He does these "a lot" and he definitely feels this should alleviate many of my issues. No promise of it eradicating it but hopefully cleaning out the sinuses will allow us to get to the issue and get rid of it.

So my surgery is set for Wednesday and while I am very hopeful it all goes well and "fixes" my sinuses, but there are always risks involved.

I almost forgot the funniest part: the doctor stated that one of the things they would do would be like liposuction for my septum and I asked if I had sinuses in my belly and if he could work down there also. The doctor had a good laugh at that one but alas, no he wouldn't.

If any of you have also been through this surgery I would love any feedback.

Also thoughts and prayers, are in the case, very much appreciated :)

Day of Delirium #356 - Wonder Car

As soon as I got my new car in September, I knew I wanted this.
It was my number one item on my Christmas list.
Luckily my sister gifted me this.
My brother-in-law couldn’t believe that I wanted it, nor did he believe I would actually place it on my car.
I was very emphatic that it was my number one wish and I couldn’t wait to get it onto my car.
Saturday I took my car in for her first service appointment.
My dealer offers a free car wash after all service appointments and it was over 50 degrees, soooo

Say hello to Rhea the Wonder RAV4

Before 

After

It might be a small silly thing but I feel amazing seeing it on my car.

I feel like Wonder Woman and I couldn’t be happier.