Finally, I am going to post from my Going Bonkers magazine. It seems like ages since I have done this. Today's article is "The Confidence Plan - How to Build an Unstoppable YOU!" by Val Olson, MA, LP
I definitely have not had much confidence lately. I am not sure why but I seem to be on the downside of it. And guess what? That is ok. As long as I don't wallow here or forget to come back up, I should be ok. So how do you plan for confidence? Here are a few tips from Going Bonkers and hopefully they can help you!
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Accept that sometimes you need to fake it.
Fake confidence that is ladies, not something else ;) Sometimes you just need to dress the part. You can project confidence even when you aren't feeling it. One thing I do is when I go to a seminar or class I always sit up front. I project that I am not uncomfortable with sitting where one appears to be in the line of fire even if I am very uncomfortable. It has always worked for as the class would go on, I realized I was engaging more with the teacher and "forced" to pay attention... also it is amazing how little they call on the people in the front, as they always seem to want to get those that tried to hide in the back of the room instead LOL!
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Have a plan for dealing with a crises
Sometimes people or situations will challenge your self confidence. It is a fact of life but if you are aware that it will happen then you have already created the plan you need to see yourself through. You know that this has happened before and you have weathered it so can you this time too.
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Don't assume your doubt is just a way of life
It is possible that your lack of self confidence could be due to depression or an anxiety disorder. One should never assume that it is ok to never have confidence. A chat with a competent health professional can do wonders for your self confidence. In fact, I will be calling one if I don't feel better within a week since I feel that this has been going on for a little too long at this point.
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Don't lean too far in the other direction
We all know overly confident people in our lives. Those who are arrogant, egotistical, conceited - that is when self confidence has gone too far. You should always be able to toot your own horn BUT not at the expense of others. Sharing your successes can easily lead to more confidence and continued support from others, whereas over sharing can be detrimental and your support can disappear.
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Make small steps to get started
We have heard this many times in my Going Bonkers posts, you don't need to jump in all at once to obtain confidence. Start simple, like sprucing up your wardrobe, fixing small things in your home, office or car, write in your gratitude journal every night. If you know there is a specific area to work on, then research it and lay the foundation with small steps to climb to your goal.
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Know what you want to achieve
Setting goals - this is another one we hear all the time. How can you get somewhere if you don't know where you are going? This is something I really need to work on too... I noticed it as I wrote that question. I don't know where I am going, so how can I get there? No wonder my confidence is down, it doesn't know where to go.
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Make a brag list
Ironically, this is one I have done. Like the gratitude journal I have written down my accomplishments at times so that I can review them and remember that I am capable of so many things. It is amazing what you can forget about especially in a down time of confidence. I must find my lists.
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Make social connections
This one we have in spades. Make connections through Facebook or Twitter and meet people of a like mind or people that can support you and listen and collaborate with you. Just be sure to not only connect virtually, as face to face contact is vital too. You can join a support group, a professional group or take a class. Other people's support is critical.
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Inspire yourself
Hang a photo or quotes in places where you can view them every day and be inspired. Remember as children you would make a "What do I want to be when I grow up?" board where you would cut out magazine photos/words that described what you wanted to be? That was to inspire you. I say we all do that again. I ask each of you reading to create a picture page of something you want to achieve in the next 10 years. If it is to graduate from school then pick pictures of schools, diplomas and books - then you can use this photo board as an inspirational item to help you maintain confidence in obtaining your goal. I of course need to set the goal before I can get any pictures but maybe I will come up with something. I will post it here when I do, I promise.
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Make the commitment and keep it
Commit to your goal, don't give up because it got too hard. Break it down to manageable pieces and promise to stay with it for 30 days.. then another 30 days... before you know it, you will have reached your goal.
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Keep priorities front and center
Make sure to always remember why you want confidence. You want to achieve goals, you want to feel good about yourself and you want to be happy in your life.
Note: this was a picture under priorities in Google Images - too funny :)
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Don't set yourself up for failure by trying to do too much
Sound familiar? Rome wasn't built in a day is the saying and it is the truth. There are no rules on timing except that you set the rule. Slow and steady wins the race and has the energy to continue is what I add. You can't dig a hole at once, it takes shovel after shovel before you can see any result.
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Know the whole truth
Don't assume...instead research, practice, ask questions and you will find that you are better than you think. And how can that not build confidence??
So my confidence plan is to set a goal, make a photo board for the goal, share my goal and photo board here on my blog and support each and every one of you in whatever you need.
